Saturday, May 28, 2005


It is 8:33 AM. I have been awake for 33 minutes and have to play a concert in slightly less than 2 1/2 hours. I am on my second cup of coffee and have to judge how much will keep me alert until concert time, without sending me into a mania. I shake my head back and forth, wiggle my cheeks, and make silly sounds ... will that help? Charleston life is so very different from New York life, and my brain does not seem to function in a linear, Northern way, I begin to think like a mint julep and blogging seems exotic, bizarre, impossible. Post, an inner voice says, post! And yet the gelateria beckons. Perhaps a walk around the battery, or just a sit in my own lovely garden. Or a casual bikeride around this most beautiful of towns.

Curse the man/woman who invented the morning concert. And I have played so very many. The morning is already the "difficult" part of my day, the mini-crisis of every day. In the afternoon, I often look back at the person I was at 10 AM and think, what a silly boy, what complicated, difficult thoughts he deluded himself with, life is really so uncluttered and simple... but then again at 10 AM the next day it is the same thing, the same morass. Coffee is the acid with which I cut through that primeval, post-sleep ooze. Then add the stress of pre-concert preparations, etc. (where's my suit? is my shirt ironed? do i have my music? blah blah blah) to the whole mix: a morning with a concert is just a mess... i have to evolve from dinosaur to aristocrat in two short hours. Just not enough time: too often a Tyrannosaurus Rex walks out on stage...


Erin said...

I'm glad you're back. Fie upon Charleston for jamming your blogging.

May said...

...better a tyrannosaurus rex than a mollusk... esp. with Schumann
As part of my job is recording music I've also cursed the person who invented early rehearsals and morning concerts. On my way to the hall - alone in the streets, because no healthy person voluntarily leaves the house before nine on Sunday morning - I pondered about the unbalanced structure of his/her personality: First they seem to have to do something good for their brain/image (and body - oh, the before-breakfast-runners and swimmers are the same neurotics) before being allowed to enjoy life. They have to "earn" things like eating, watching silly TV shows or just hanging around with a novel and a tea.
Seems we should not curse them, just feel pity. ;)